Enjoying a very decadent treat of a cake batter and honeycomb flavoured Cold Rock ice-cream, with cookie dough and nutella mix-ins, and then saving that big chunk of cookie dough for that the last bite… Delicious!!
There is an era coming to an end in my life very soon – one of my wonderful flatmates is moving on to greener pastures. No, there has been no big fight, no clashing of personalities, just a pure and simple case of it being time to move on. Move overseas to work/travel/have amazing adventures! And I am a complete jumble of emotions; incredibly sad (I will miss her terribly, and worry about her when she’s over there – even though I know she’s going to be just fine!), so happy for someone to be following their dreams and all the wonderful experiences they will have, proud of their courage to actually do it (live & work overseas is something I always wanted to do, but let fear of the unknown get in my way). And of course, I’m oh, so jealous!
While I can’t be too sad when I know that there is so much happiness coming from this, there is another side: change. The unknown. Who will the new person be to fill the soon to be empty spot in our household? Will they get on with us (myself & my other wonderful flatmate)? Will their personalities jell with ours? Will they do their share of the housework and cleaning? Will they want to socialise with us? Have nice friends to bring around to our house? Be able to pay the bills on time? Be considerate? Be a positive force in our home?
Will we pick the right person…? Because after all, it’s all up to us. We have the deciding vote.
It can be so damn hard to face change in your life; much easier to keep doing the same thing over and over, take the easy way out and put your head in the sand – if you cant see the change, then it’s not happening. Or take the victim’s route; pick the first one that comes along and be damned with the consequences, after all I didn’t ask for this, so it’s not my fault if this next person turns out to be a disaster. It’s not fair – I don’t want things to change! (insert virtual foot stamping here haha).
I wrote this in one of my earlier posts, and I’m revisiting it now as a reminder:
…it’s ok to not have a set plan in life! These last few years have taught me that stuff is going to happen whether you like it or not; it’s more about how you deal with it, adapt to it, and move forward from/with it. I have no idea what’s going to happen in the next 12mths, but I hope to have some more fun and adventures along the way! Life doesn’t have to be so rigid and serious all the time.
Fair? Who ever said life was fair?? Yeah, I can choose to be sad, and get worked up about the situation, about how it’s inconveniencing me, disgruntled about being shoved out of my comfort zone…
Or I can choose to take control. Choose to make informed decisions – my house, my life, my happiness, my choice! An end of one era is just the beginning of another. Nothing can stay the same forever, and I shouldn’t expect it to – how boring would that be?! The same thing day in, day out, for years on end. No challenge.
I choose to keep moving forward in my life. I choose to see this as an opportunity to meet someone new, someone who could potentially become just as important in my life the way another new person has over the last 2yrs, the same person who I’m now so sad to see leave…
Life just keeps reinforcing to me just how much people come into your life for a particular reason. That reason may not become clear until way down the track, in some cases not even until long after they’ve phased out of your life. But there was definitely a reason, and a lesson the Universe meant for you to learn; if you have your head in the sand, how can you listen to what that lesson is? How can you open your eyes and see the new opportunities right there in front of you?
It’s still scary to invite someone new, someone who is a stranger, to live in your home. But as the dozens of emails, text messages, and phone calls continue to stream in and get weeded down into actual faces looking into our rooms, our house, our home… it’s getting exciting; that potential for new fun is starting to surface.
Our lives are so busy, usually with many different things going on at once. Sometimes you need to just stop and appreciate the little things. I’m going to share some of my little moments in life which make me smile, and warm my heart. This is the first of many…
#1 – It feels so good to be able to smile & laugh again, without being in pain.
Last week my flatmate and another friend were heading out for drinks and a fashion show, followed by a night on the town with lots of dancing. Trying not to be jealous, I wished them a good night, then returned to my ‘nest’ on the couch with my blanket cocoon and icepacks, and prepared myself for yet another night in watching telly. It was going to be a big night – my first ‘real’ food in several days since the dental surgery and I can’t really express just how excited I was to eat it (no, I’m not kidding; by this time I was dreaming of big fat steaks, burgers, chicken wraps, anything with any real substance, and this was as close as I could get!).
I’d made gnocchi with a light cream sauce with some grated vegies, onions and garlic I’d sautéed until soft. However, I underestimated how hard it would be to actually get the pieces of gnocchi into my swollen mouth, and I was a little achy by the time I finished (but gee it tasted like heaven!).
It was around this time that my flatmate called in a bit of a fluster – she’s left their fashion show tickets on her bed. There was no question; of course I’d drop them into her! Now I did for one split second consider changing out of my PJ’s into normal clothes for the trip, but dismissed it. I even considered keeping the icepack tied to my face, but thought better of it – might scare another driver if they happened to look over at me. So off I went in my PJ’s, fluffy grey dressing robe and all, with my hair unbrushed and my face looking like a bruised chip monk – what did it matter? No-one was going to see me. I even joked to my other flatmate as I left “hope I don’t get pulled over!” Why, oh why, did I say that…?
There were no parks near the agreed drop off spot, so I pulled in a little further up in front on a taxi queue. By this time my face was full on throbbing with pain (damn you delicious gnocchi!). I just wanted to call my friend, hand over the tickets, and go home. But no.
The taxi started honking at me even though I’d left ample room for him to pull out around me, so I rolled forward a bit more. By now I’m almost right in the very busy pedestrian walkway crossing at the top of the mall in Brisbane City (in front of the Treasury Casino if you’re familiar with the area), and apparently on a yellow line (which means no standing at any time), and I have my mobile phone in my hand trying to call my friend (completely illegal in Brisbane – you need to have the engine turned off). Then I look up to see several Friday night revellers about to cross the road staring at me very amused, and the reason for their amusement: two policemen making a beeline straight for me. Crap.
I dropped the phone like a hot potato, but I knew they’d seen it. Winding down the window I mumbled (literally, with the whole swollen face and all) something about tickets for my flatmate. I was so embarrassed – the people in the background were laughing, my face was throbbing with pain and swollen with some pretty impressive green and purple bruises on my cheeks. And of course I was in my ever so classy PJ/fury robe ensemble. The policeman took it all in, and must have taken pity on me (thank you!); he only mentioned I needed to move to let the taxis out, and suggested I pull up a little further in a non-yellow lined area.
While I was extremely grateful to be getting off so lightly (I’d envisioned at least a $100 fine for using the phone with the engine on), I immediately thought back to those fateful words I’d utter in jest as I left the house… Was it a simple case of Murphy’s Law? Or had I jinxed myself?
Then yesterday I had another moment while driving in the car, where I thought something fleetingly, and then about 2mins later it happened. This made me wonder if the Universe was trying to tell me something and I just didn’t listen? Or had I somehow made it happen by thinking about it and visualising it, albeit briefly?
I’m very familiar with the idea of the power of suggestion and subliminal messages – after all, this is how the advertising world gets us to crave food and items we don’t actually need or want (seriously I don’t even eat Macca’s, but damn those adds make me want one of those new lamb burgers… if only I could get it in my mouth). And I’m familiar with the use of vision boards where you place pictures of your goals and positive things in a prominent place that you see every day, to get into your subconscious and inspire you (we have one on our toilet door; it’s a great place to think). Plus, I’m a big believer in what you put out into the Universe, you get back. So then, is it really such a big leap to thinking I may have made those two things happen?
And if I did, then I guess my next question is: How do I turn it into positive things happening? I doubt it’s as simple as just thinking about it – otherwise we’d all be Gold Lotto winners!
Many years ago when I was a manager with a wonderful Australian party plan company Le Reve, I was taught to ‘catch my thoughts’; a way of becoming aware of exactly what it is you’re thinking about; If your thoughts are taking a negative angle you ‘catch’ yourself and change your train of thought into a positive.
I also now recall that around the same time, I was lent the book The Secret, which created quite a controversial furore around 2006 when it was released on DVD first, then in book form as it grew in popularity. Now I’ll admit I’ve had that book for about 5yrs, but have never actually read it. Even though one of my most treasured friends, who now lives in New York, swears by this book contributing to her successful move across the world several years ago, finding a job amongst economic unrest, and finding her wonderful now husband!
Hmmm, Maybe I should dig that book out and read it once and for all. After all, what have I got to lose? Plus I can already visualise exactly which box it’s packed away in underneath my house…